My father the Iron Man

My father, his voice is his life, you often hear my Dad before you even see him. His voice is beautiful, robust, deep and full of life. He used to leave me messages on my voice mail, with the radio voice, "Hi honey, it's Dad". I was always wondering why he did that. I knew it was him, so why the radio dad voice-- but still it made me laugh.

He came out to visit me this past September and we had a great visit. I took him to walk through the trails near our zoo. He made walking sticks for the boys and investigated every aspect of nature with Max and Anthony. He was healthy and amazed at the trees and foliage of Portland.

I also took him to a McMenemins, where we saw Iron Man, the movie, while sitting on a sofa and eating a burger. He thought that was the best invention in the world. He said he needed one of those in Pittsburgh. This visit was special to me, one because my boys got a chance to bond with their grandpa, but two because we got to bond. Over time, growing up, months had turned to years, the I'll get there soon", just kept being said. I am glad he just said one day to me, "I booked my ticket, I am coming out" .

This visit was the first time I got to see my father as a man, as a person and not some infallible superhero who was supposed to do everything right. You have a vision of your Dad sometime as the guy who can do it all. Sometimes I felt neglected if I did not feel he was doing something I wanted. But as an adult you see things a different way and you understand the lines, "I am doing the best I can". When you are 12, or 22 you don't understand what that mean. It is not until you have children of your own that you understand. My father, although he had his faults, always did the best he could.

Three weeks ago my dad became gravely ill. Now he is hooked up to all these machines, with doctors telling us we have to prepare ourselves because he probably won't get better. He has undergone Chemotherapy and plasma transfers, blood transfers and a ruptured lung. He is on dialysis and is in a special bed. But as I sat and held his hand, I knew inside he could hear me. I knew he felt my touch and I am so proud of him. He has fought hard these weeks and is doing "the best he can". And in my eyes he is tough like the Iron Man.