let your light shine

I got a fortune cookie the other day and it read, “Sometimes is it necessary to let your light shine, and other times it is necessary to be the mirror that reflects the light”. I have thought about this for a very long time to try to figure this out.

As I sit bundled in my blanket, procrastinating finishing my paper on cognitive restructuring, which is basically making messed up kids normal, it dawned on me that what has made me shine is reflecting the spirit of the toughest kids.

I have helped pretty messed up kids to realize they have worth and are loved. I have gained their approval and acceptance where, in their world, they worry over their next meal or the sanity of their parents. What exactly will they get when fucked up mom or dad walks through the door. They tell me things like, they have no power, no food, their shoes may be held together with duct tape and their clothes are tattered or torn. So I find them new shoes and mend their clothes, and I listen to them. I hug them, when they need it, and tell them I love them. And when they see me every morning, they shine.

They are my little kiddos. Not my born children, not Maximus or Anthony, but they are still mine, and I still love them. They give me headaches, they make wrong choices, they fail classes, they purposely get thrown out of classes because they hate some teachers, but they are still mine. They are always at the principles office, and often I get a call, I just can’t take this kid… can you talk with him. Yes, yes I can.

Because if I can’t reflect the light they have, they will never see it. And if they feel they have no light, they will not make it in this world. That is the power to be a teacher. A teacher’s power is not to shine, but to reflect the light of the children who don’t think they exist, who don’t think they matter, who don’t think they have light in a dark place.